The Ten Pillars of Coaching

In my coaching model, you and I are going to use what I call The Ten Pillars.
These are ten areas of your life that I feel you must pay attention to on a regular basis if you are to become a better man, a better boyfriend, a better husband, a better son, a better father, and a better human being
They are that important.
Let’s see what they are.
As you read about each pillar, I’d like for you to just make a mental note as to how you think you are doing in that area.
Grade yourself on a scale of 1 to 5, see how close to a perfect fifty you come.

Career
Unless you are independently wealthy, I assume you have a job you work at at least 8 hours a day.
Or, considering the current economic and political environment, you may not have a job at all, or have a part time one, or one that barely allows you to make ends meet. What I want to do is help you move from a job you put up with to a career that you love. Something that makes you get up early and stay up late.
Think about what you’re doing for a living now and what you’d like to be doing a year from now.

Dating and Marriage
As Sinatra says, Love and Marriage go together like a horse and carriage, but these days, it’s damn difficult for a man when it comes to mating, dating and relating. We’ve got GamerGate, we’ve got Alt-Right, we’ve got #metoo, and it just seems that no matter where you turn, there’s a man, lost, trying to find some direction in life and in love. I see a great deal of adult men who are actually children. Maybe they’re afraid to grow up, and take the reins. Maybe they tried and failed in the past. You don’t have to go this alone. Let’s find you a partner worth loving, and create a life that they find irresistible.

Diet
Is there anything you can eat these days that won’t KILL YOU?
Sometimes it just seems that no matter what you try, no matter what you do, those pounds won’t come off, the blood pressure won’t go down, and the diabetes won’t go away. The secret is not dieting, but rather a lifestyle change. It’s flippant to say and to hear, but it’s a bit more difficult to actually do. You and I (and your physician) can work together to come up with permanent changes that you can institute immediately and see progress on quickly. You don’t have to live to eat, but you do have to eat to live. Let’s find some balance here.

Finances
Keep your mind on your money, and your money on your mind. Do you know where your money is going? What you’re spending it on? Do you have an emergency fund of at least $1,000 set up? If money is an energy, do you have any leaks? I used to spend several HUNDRED dollars a month on books, comics and role playing games, but I didn’t know how much it added up to until I started tracking it. Let’s work together to set up a plan that allows you to be smart with your money.

Fitness
If Diet is 80% of your health, then exercise is the other 20%. With health care costs soaring, you really need to start taking care of yourself and keep yourself out of the doctor’s office and out of the emergency room. I workout 3 days a week, and walk several miles the other 4 days. This is not because I’m a health freak, and, at 57, I am sure my days of six pack abs are well behind me. It’s because I just want to feel good and be healthy. I want to be here when my kids have kids and I can be the coolest, tattooed hipster grandpa on the block. Why do you want to get healthy? Let’s explore that.

Grooming and Style
I live in Florida, so I am surrounded by two things that I hate: cargo shorts and flip-flops. I go to gaming conventions, so I am surrounded by another thing I hate: printed nerdy t-shirts. My brothers, there is more to life than ill-fitting jeans and black t-shirts with pithy sayings on them. To create a better life, you have got to upgrade your clothing. You have got to shave! You have got to bathe! You have to take pride in your appearance. Are you? Why? Why not? Let’s give you a makeover.

Home
If your house or apartment looks like the inside of a frat house or you have several hundred DVD’s, video games, sports memorabilia, anime figures or other such nonsense clogging up the joint, you are going to score very low on the Would A Girl Want To Come Over Here And Hang Out? scale. When you grow up, when you man up, you need to choose to live in a dwelling that reflects your maturity and status. Look at some decorating magazines. Think adult. Think modern. Think easy to clean. Hell, think IKEA if you want to. Let’s turn your house into a home.

Recreation
All work and no play makes Jack a dull man. What I see a great deal of is lack of balance. Either the guy is a workaholic, or he’s unemployed and living with his parents, dreaming of being a professional YouTuber. No. Just no. Balance is the key to life and it’s the key to your social life. Break out of your comfort zone. I used to go to conventions, but at a certain age and maturity level, I knew that it was time for me to stop going, and discover something else. Let’s find you something to do with other people that’s a bit challenging but a hell of a lot of fun.

Service and Community
We are all connected. I truly believe that if we, as a species are to flourish on this planet, we have got to get it into our thick heads that we need each other. We need to help each other. We need to be kinder to each other. When we help others, we are actually helping ourselves, our community, our nation and our planet. Greed is NOT good, no matter what you hear. There are only two emotions: love and fear. When we help each other, we are coming from a place of love. Let’s talk about how you can help your fellow man.

Spirituality
If you’re a Christian, a Muslim, an agnostic or even an atheist, I still believe that you can, and should reconnect to the beauty and wonder that surrounds us. Get away from your phone, your computer, your car, your technology, and put on your walking shoes and get out into nature. Learn to meditate, learn to calm your mind, learn to carve out some time each day, each week to just BE instead of DO. Remember we are human beings, not human doings. Sometime it’s okay to just sit, relax, sip some coffee or tea and breathe. Let’s find out your best time to do that.

How Do You Feel?
After reading through The Ten Pillars, how do you feel?
Do you feel positive? Ready to make some changes?
Do you feel down? Like life has passed you by while you’ve been on the sidelines?
Both of these feelings are okay, and are normal. None of us are perfect, and each of us would like our lives to be even better than they are now.
Your life can be better. Your life can be a hell of a lot better, but it’s going to take work and it’s going to take effort, and it might just take me helping you get there.

What’s Next?
Let’s talk about it.
You and me, man to man, and find out where you are now, and where you want to go.
I can help you, and it won’t cost a shit-ton of money.
Hell, I’ll talk to you for a few hours for free.
All you need to do is request my Blueprint for a Better Life workbook, fill it out, send back to me, and we’ll get this ball rolling.
It’s up to you.
Take that next step now.